


Sworn Enemies

by ProbablyVoldemort



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Jake is a mess of a person tbh, Overdue Library Books, but also not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-12
Updated: 2018-04-12
Packaged: 2019-04-19 22:01:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14246646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProbablyVoldemort/pseuds/ProbablyVoldemort
Summary: Amy has been waiting for a library book to be in for months, so she's vowed to hunt down the person who had it last:Jake Peralta, her newly sworn enemy.





	Sworn Enemies

**Author's Note:**

> Hello to everyone who's been following my celebration drabbles, and to everyone who's just tuning in now. I hope you're all having a fantastic day.
> 
> Today's drabble is from the following prompt:
> 
> **Anonymous said: Library AU -"You’re overdue on this book and I want it so I’m tracking u the fuck down" for Jake and Amy**
> 
> Also side note I don't really know how pool works, so just pretend I'm right even if I'm wrong.
> 
> Enjoy!! :D

“What do you mean it’s still not back?”

The librarian shrugged.  “I mean it’s still not back,” she said, offering Amy a sympathetic smile.

Amy huffed.  “But I’ve had it reserved for _six months_ ,” she pressed.  “It should have come in by now.”

“Well,” the librarian offered, “it’s been overdue for a year and a half now.  I really don’t know what you want me to do.”

Amy ran a hand through her hair.  She knew it wasn’t the library’s fault, but she’d been wanting to read this book forever.  Was there a single copy available anywhere in the entirety of Brooklyn?  Nope.  Not one.  They’d all been taken out and never returned.  It was like the universe was conspiring against her.

“Fine,” she sighed, pulling a pad of paper and a pen from her purse.  “Tell me who has it.  I’ll hunt them down, you get your book back.  Win-win.”

The librarian looked like she was about to protest for a moment, before deciding it wasn’t worth it.

“Alright,” she agreed.  “When you find him, tell him he’s wracked up over three thousand dollars in late fees and has two hundred books he needs to return.”

Amy couldn’t see how anyone could possibly just forget to return over two hundred books, or why they’d disrespect a library like this, but she would find this person and get that book if it was the last thing she did.

“Deal,” she agreed.  “What’s his name?”

The librarian glanced back at the screen.  “Jake Peralta.’

Amy scribbled it down on her pad, narrowing her eyes.  Jake Peralta, whoever he was, had better watch his back.  He’d just made himself an enemy, and enemies of Amy Santiago always got what they deserved.

*********

Jake Peralta, Amy lamented later that night, was proving to be harder to track down than she would have anticipated.  There were, apparently, a lot of Jake Peraltas in Brooklyn—thirty six, if her searches were accurate—and Kylie had talked her down from showing up at each one’s door and demanding to see their book collections.

Which was why she was at a bar now, obsessively checking her phone to see if any of her inquiries had panned out.

“You need to chill,” Kylie said, taking the seat beside her and offering a fresh drink.  “Stop worrying about your book, get drunk, have some fun, and maybe meet a cute guy.  You can figure out how to hunt down your book guy tomorrow.”

Amy frowned at her drink.  “It’s supposed to be a really good book,” she argued weakly.

Kylie rolled her eyes.  “If you can’t find this Jake guy, I’ll buy you a copy off Amazon for your birthday, okay?”

Amy bit her lip, weighing her options.  She could sit here and stare at her phone and probably not get any closer to finding Jake Peralta, or she could get a little drunk and have fun with Kylie and maybe go talk to that guy near the pool tables who kept glancing over.

“Fine,” she agreed, lifting her glass.  “But just one drink.  I can’t be hungover if I’m going to find him tomorrow.”

Of course, it wasn’t just one drink.  It started that way, but then some bachelorette party convinced them to join them for shots.  And then more shots.  And then more.  She’d had enough drinks that she was firmly in that confident stage of drunk that she rarely let herself reach.

But she was definitely confident enough to wander over to the guy by the pool tables and challenge him to a game of pool.

“Do I get your name?” he asked, and she shot him a smirk.

“Only if you beat me.”

He grinned back, and the game was on.  He was surprisingly good at pool and Amy was surprisingly bad, but she decided to blame it on the alcohol.

“So what brought you here tonight?” he asked, lining up a shot.  “That bachelorette party?”

Amy took a sip of the drink she’d gotten at some point.  She didn’t remember when, but it didn’t really matter.

“My friend made me take a break from seeking vengeance,” she said, which was maybe a little strange to say when flirting with a stranger whose name she didn’t even know, but she was too drunk to care.

The guy laughed.  “Vengeance, huh?”  He took the shot, sinking a ball in a hole, before straightening up and smirking at her.  “What kind of vengeance?  I’m great at holding grudges.  I could help you out.”

Amy sighed.  “I don’t think you can help,” she said.  “Unless you know Jake Peralta.”

She was looking down at her drink, so she missed the way the guy choked on nothing.

“What?” he asked, and she glanced back up.  “I mean, uh, what did this Jake Peralta guy do to you that was bad enough for vengeance?”

Amy scowled, handing off her drink as she lined up her own shot.  “He owes the library over three thousand dollars in late fees,” she said, and, again, missed the way the guy paled.  “But whatever.  I mean, obviously he should pay them and return the two hundred and some odd books he just forgot about—but actually, what kind of person just forgets they have two hundred books taken out from a library?”  She glanced over her shoulder at the guy, and he just shrugged.  Amy sighed.  “Whatever.  That’s not why I’m getting vengeance.”

She took her shot and missed, and stood back to retrieve her drink.

“So why are you?” the guy asked, and, if Amy had been a bit more sober, she would have noticed that he seemed really invested in this.

“I’ve had this book reserved for, like, six months,” she sighed.  “It was due back a year and a half ago, apparently, but he still hasn’t returned it.  So I’m hunting Jake Peralta the fuck down, and he can either give me the book or he can die.”

“Cool,” he said, though his smile was more of a grimace.  “Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.  Death is definitely justifiable for being late returning a library book.”

Amy nodded in agreement, and gestured for him to take his shot.  The guy obliged, and sunk his last ball.

“So I think this means I get to know your name now,” he reminded her.

“Amy,” she said.  “Amy Santiago.  And you?”

If she’d been slightly more sober, Amy would have noticed the guys hesitation.  “Jake.”

Amy gasped, jabbing an accusatory finger at his chest.  “Are you Jake Peralta?”

“No?”  Again she missed the hesitation, the way his face scrunched up slightly as if he wasn’t being entirely honest.

Amy hummed.  “Good,” she said, shifting her fingers so she could grab onto his shirt.  “Because if you _were_ Jake Peralta, I wouldn’t be able to kiss you.”

Jake’s arms wrapped around her.  “Why not?”

Amy rolled her eyes.  “He’s my sworn enemy,” she reminded him.  “I can’t kiss my sworn enemy.”

“Oh,” he said.  “Right.  Of course not.”

“Right,” she agreed.  “So are you going to kiss me or what?”

*********

 **[Jake Not-Peralta:]** [So for curiosity’s sake, what’s the name of the book that your sworn enemy  
                                                             has that you want?]

                                                            [Also are you free for dinner tonight?]

Amy smiled down at her phone, typing out a reply. 

She was honestly surprised she wasn’t more hung over, considering how much she’d had to drink the night before, but she wasn’t complaining.  She’d exchanged numbers with Jake at the end of the night, and she was looking forward to seeing him again.  He was fun, and he’d managed to distract her from her mission.

“It’s too early for you to look that happy,” Kylie said, frowning over her coffee.  “Who’re you texting?”

Amy laughed at the dancing turtle gif that popped up with his latest message.  “Jake.”

Kylie raised an eyebrow.  “Jake Peralta?” she asked.  “You actually found him?  That was fast.”

“No.”  Amy clicked over to check her emails confirming, again, that none of her contacts had gotten back to her about Jake Peralta.  “Jake...I don’t actually know his last name, but he said it wasn’t Peralta.  Jake from the bar last night.”

Kylie hummed and went back to her coffee, but Amy knew she’d be getting grilled about him as soon as her friend’s hangover wore off.

Her phone buzzed with an email, and Amy cheered as she read it.  She had an address for one Jake Peralta.  She’d talked herself back into the plan of hunting them down one at a time.  It was a good plan.  Who cared if Kylie said it was kinda invasive and stalker-ish.  She was getting that book.

“Wanna come?” she asked, already anticipating Kylie’s dismissive hand wave.

“You should invite your other Jake,” she suggested.  “Stalking people is always a great first date.”

*********

Amy was not stalking, whatever Kylie said, but she did invite Jake along.  He’d seemed invested in her vengeance, and brought a lot of snacks that she wasn’t sure when he thought they’d have time to eat them.

“So,” he started, offering her some licorice.  “Who’s this Jake Peralta guy anyway?  Master criminal?  Mob boss?”

Amy shrugged.  “I have no idea,” she said.  “He’s just one of thirty six on my list.  All I’ve got is his name and address.”

“Cool, cool, cool.”  Jake nodded.  “So what’re we doing when we find him?  Do you need me to fight him?  Because I can do it.”

Amy laughed, taking a piece of licorice.  “I don’t think fighting is in the plan,” she admitted.  “But if it does come to that, go all out.”

They stopped in front of a house, and Amy glanced down at the piece of paper in her hand.  This was it.  The first—and, hopefully, last—Jake Peralta on her list.

They made their way to the door, and Amy knocked.  A woman with a toddler on her hip answered a moment later.

“Can I help you?” she asked.

“Yes,” Amy said.  “I’m looking for Jake Peralta?  Is he home?”

The woman looked confused, then glanced down at the little boy.  “You want to speak to my two year old?”

Jake, her Jake, started laughing, and Amy felt her face heating up.

“Sorry,” she said.  “We must have the wrong Jake Peralta.  Sorry.”

The woman closed the door, and Amy pulled Jake back towards the road.

“Are you sure he was the wrong Jake Peralta?” he asked.  “I mean, he definitely looks like he doesn’t return his library books, if you ask me.”

Amy rolled her eyes and snagged the bag of salt water taffee that was falling out of his pocket.  “He was a bit too young,” she pointed out.

“Title of your sex tape.”  Jake grinned at her, and she shoved him in the arm.  “This is fun.  Who are we going to accuse next?  Elderly people?  A dog?”

“No one.”  Amy popped a taffee into her mouth.  “He was the only one whose address I’d found.”

“Well,” Jake said.  “Definitely call me every time you find someone else.  That was fun.  Let’s go.”

He grabbed her hand, tugging her along.  “Where are we going?”

“Well, I’ve got all this junk food,” he pointed out, shaking his backpack, “and it’s pretty much lunch time.  I think we need to have a picnic.”

*********

Jake looked nervous as he stood up to greet her, and Amy really hoped he wasn’t about to propose.  Yeah, she liked him, a lot, but this was only their three month anniversary.  That wasn’t anywhere near long enough to warrant a proposal.

He darted around the table and pulled out her chair for her, and Amy noted that he’d actually brushed his hair today, which was something he never did.

She watched as he settled back into his own chair, and a waiter came by to take their drink orders.

“So I need to tell you something, Ames,” he said, and Amy nodded slowly, readying herself to give the whole It’s Too Soon To Get Engaged speech.  Jake ran a hand through his hair and sighed.  “So there really isn’t an easy way to tell you this, so I guess I’ll just say it.  Our entire relationship is built on a lie.”

Amy felt her stomach drop, and a thousand different scenarios started building up in her mind.

And then he slid the book across the table.

“I’m Jake Peralta,” he said, offering a sheepish smile.  “Your sworn enemy.”

Amy stared at the book as his words sunk in.  If she was being honest, it made sense.  She still didn’t know his last name.  He’d claimed to not have Facebook when she’d asked.  And, from what she could remember from that night at the bar when they’d met, he’d been acting really weird.

She glanced back up at him, an unimpressed look on her face.  “Why didn’t you just give me the book right away?”

Jake shrugged.  “It was...misplaced,” he said.  “I had to find it first.”

Amy rolled her eyes because, knowing Jake as she did, she should have expected that.  The fact that he owed over three thousand dollars in late fees also made sense.

She smiled at the waiter as he gave them their drinks, and took a sip of hers.  “I guess this means I’ve gotten vengeance,” she finally said, and Jake relaxed across from her.  “I suppose that means we can stop being sworn enemies.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed it! Be sure to check out the rest of the 5000 Followers Celebration fics!
> 
> Comments are life and kudos are golden.
> 
> Come follow me on Tumblr at probably-voldemort :)


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